The Christmas Myth

     Christmas is a remarkable and complex time of year. Everyone buys into the idea of a perfect family event. The everywhere we find movies showing families overcoming differences on Christmas, miracles occurring and general goodwill toward our fellow man. All of this is simply propaganda that. There is no ideal Christmas- the holiday is what you make of it.
      Eight years ago I had purchased a new house in the fall of the year. It was a large property in the country. In short, it was more land than house. However, it was my own little slice of weed-infested heaven. After several months of unpacking I was finally ready for the grand reveal. I recruited a kind-hearted roommate to assist in the food preparations and I invited my whole immediate family for lunch on Christmas day.
      As the day approached, I inquired about changing the meal to Christmas Eve. I wanted to avoid any time conflicts and to actually have a day of rest. My Mother, bless her, threw a small tantrum. "You said Christmas Day and we have all made plans that can't be changed." Locked in, I began preparations for the meal.
      We shopped for turkey, ham, corn, eggs, potatoes, pies, cakes, pineapple glaze and sweet potato fluff. After spending hundreds of dollars - more than one but less than three- we were prepared to ,start the cooking. By noon on Christmas Eve preparation of the vegetables had begun. The ham was baked and everything that could be prepared early was cooked. At around midnight I finally went to bed, setting my clock for 6 am so I could start the turkey.
       That Christmas was a warm, rainy affair. Much like this year in the Southern United States, the temperatures were unseasonably warm and the rain on Christmas day turned my new driveway into a muddy slush. Those forsaken rains began around 10 am on Christmas morning. So did the phone calls.
        The turkey went in at 6 am. Lunch was scheduled for noon so the guests were expected to arrive between 11 am and noon. I have a fairly large family so a turnout of between ten and fifteen people were expected. Around 11 am my Father called. After several minutes of pleasantries he passed the phone off to my Mother, who promptly informed me that an Uncle was having Christmas at noon and she wanted to go there instead of visiting my house. However, she was gracious enough to say that the family would come by later to eat.
      After thirty minutes of shock and the realization that I was on the verge of passing out because had been cooking for six hours without eating, the three people that bothered to show up sat down for a lunch feast. After all of the work we were left with tons of food. I called friends and neighbors to come over after the rains stopped to help get rid of everything.
      My family was kind enough to call and offer to show up - five hours later. Gathering my wits, I politely declined due to the sorry shape of the roadway and the fact that I was not feeling well after going so long without eating. I held a grudge over the event for years... now I understand that it was a breakdown of the Christmas facade.
      This Christmas I am preparing a breakfast for a few family members. It will consist of bacon, eggs and waffles. All of these are foods that I would eat whether anyone was around or not. I am not planning on a magical event because I have realized that the magic does not exist. I am neither expecting expensive gifts, nor am I providing them for others. A small amount of fellowship with my loved ones is enough of a present. Then, when everyone has gone home and the dishes are piled high, the solitude I find will be the greatest gift of all.
      Do not buy into the Christmas Myth that everything has to be perfect and that you must be surrounded by people to be happy. My happiest moments occur when I am settling in for a nap with my two little dogs in a bed full of fluffy pillows. Some may say this is a sign of antisocial behavior or depression. I say it is a sign that I have not been fooled by the movies and stories and myths of Christmastime, and I am very much happy with who I am and that I am.